


Rewrite

by too_many_ships_are_sailing



Category: Original Work, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Apocalypse, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Platonic Relationships, Tags May Change, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29201658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/too_many_ships_are_sailing/pseuds/too_many_ships_are_sailing
Summary: Damn. Marques wishes he was an author, so he could go back and rewrite everything.ORA tale of messy friend group, the apocalypse, and how BTS brought them hope... for a while.This is a rewrite of Bultaoreune, my badly written fic from 2019.!SLOW/UNPREDICTABLE UPDATES!!NOT COMPLETED DESPITE WHAT IT SAYS!





	1. Chapter 1

"Look, I love that you're my friend, and I'm glad that you're living with me, but I don't trust your cooking. Stay out of my kitchen."

"Come on, it wasn't THAT bad."

"It was burning!"

"Technically, it wasn't on fire."

"Of course it wasn't on fire! It completely blew up!"

"Contradicting yourself, I see."

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is?"

"The point is that you are no longer allowed to cook!"

"But I'm good at cooking!"

"Tell that to the landlords. They nearly threw us out, Yun!"

"Rose, as I recall, you did nothing to stop me, but you did film it and pretty much encouraged me."

They doubled over laughing, Rose's high-pitched wheezing, which Yun found incredibly funny, only making them laugh more.

"Ow!"

"James, you absolute idiot!"

"Shut up!"

"Oof!" Marques and James fell out from behind the wall and onto the floor with a hard thud.

"Fuck fuck fu-"

"ABORT MISSION! I REPEAT, ABORT MISSION!" James shouted as they raced out of the room.

Rose bit her lip, trying so hard not to laugh, but her eyes met Yun's and the jig was up. They were lying on the floor five minutes later, very out of breath, when Yun spoke up. "Rose, I'm gonna go take a shower because you're making dinner and... and they-" Yun gestured at the empty doorway "-are doing god knows what."

"But I don't want to make dinner!" she whined. "And anyway, it's you and James's night to make dinner."

"Well," Yun said, batting their eyelashes and trying to look innocent, "you said I'm not allowed to cook so... bye!"

"YUN, YOU TRICK ASS BITCH! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Yun sprinted to the bathroom, laughing their ass off as they heard Rose start running. They both knew she wasn't fast enough to catch them, but she still tried, laughing about it.

"Dammit!" Rose shouted, out of breath. "I'm a weightlifter, not a track star!"

Yun laughed, perched on the bathroom counter. They shifted their weight, removing one leg from their perch and slowly lowering it to the floor. Unfortunately, they still managed to slip, but they laughed it off.

Steadying themself on the sink, they reached for the cabinet and opened it. They reached in and removed a pack of razor blades, some shaving cream, and some Flintstone vitamin gummies. Setting them on the counter, Yun turned and started drawing their bathwater.

They changed the blade on their razor, took their gummies, then undressed and got in, hissing because the water was too hot. It was always too hot or too cold. There was not an in between.

They washed their hair, trying to keep their body underwater. Once their dollar store face mask was on, it was time for the worst part- having to see their body.

_Hmm, which will I choose today? Do I want crippling dysphoria or do I want to attempt shaving with my eyes closed?_

"Yun! Yun!" James yelled through the door.

"GO AWAY, JAMES! I'M TRYING TO TAKE A SHOWER!"

"But I need to use the bathroom!" He whined.

"Fuck off! You have your own fucking bathroom!" Yun exclaimed, exasperated.

"But Marques is using it!"

"Then fucking wait!" Yun growled as James ran off, presumably to kick Marques out of his bathroom.

_Y'know what? Crippling dysphoria will do._


	2. Chapter 2

"Eyyo Yun! Yun!"

"Yep, that's my name, so don't wear it out," they said without looking up.

"Oh my  _ god,  _ Yun! Come the fuck on! You know what time it is." Rose grabbed their hand and dragged them to the living room, Yun groaning about it the whole time.

In the kitchen, James was standing with a hot pink notebook. "Awesome! Rose and Yun are here, so we can start." 

Marques turned from the counter, holding out two mugs of hot chocolate for Rose and Yun. "You know what to say, right?” he said teasingly.

Rose rolled her eyes. “Just give me the damn chocolate.”

“Say it.”

“Chocolate first.”

“No. I’ll give it to Yun, and we both know they’ll drink it faster than you can say chocolate.”

Rose sighed. “Fine." Her eyes widened, and in an uwu voice, she said "Gomawo,  _ oppa _ .”

Marques’ nose crinkled. “Yeah, nevermind. Take your chocolate.”

Yun reached for their chocolate sneakily, only for their hand to be blocked by Marques’ now free hand. “Uh-uh, where’s my ramen that you owe me?”

“Damn it.”

“The jig is up, comrade. The ramen.”

Yun pointed up to a cupboard that Marques is convinced that they must’ve stood on a chair to get to. “Now, my hot chocolate.”

“That’s… not the ramen cupboard.”

“How was I supposed to know?  _ You _ rearranged the entire fucking apartment! You did it  _ while I was in class _ !”

Marques at least had the decency to look slightly ashamed, but James had no such qualms. “If we’d waited for you, we wouldn’t have had the apartment done until at least five am! How the fuck did you manage to find the  _ one _ twenty-four hour studio in the state?”

“That’s not the point! There weren’t even sticky notes! You know I have a shit memory!”

“Hey, hey,  _ hey _ !” Rose cut between the three with James’s glittery notebook in hand. “We have things to do today. What’s on the agenda today, James?”

"Questioning our existence sounds like a good thing to do," Yun said, peering down at the rather lengthy list that they doubted would even be half finished.

"I, personally, think that it's finally time to torment Satan, or possibly God this time around." Marques trailed his finger down the list. "But I don't think I see it here…"

“No, we all know that it's at the bottom.” A voice came from the hallway, revealing an older woman, dressed in jewel tones.

“Grandma Violet! You’re here!”

She chuckled, letting her bag fall from her shoulder. "Of course, I can't let my grandkids summon Satan without me! Now, is this the usual screaming at the sky or are we gonna try a Ouijia board this time around?"

**♤**

"Kids, I have a surprise for you!" She told the four as she placed four boxes on the table. "In each of these four boxes, there's a different set of gifts. Choose wisely, because once you choose a box, the rest don't come back out for a while."

"That one." Yun pointed to what looked to be an unassuming brown box. "It... well, I think it looks the most promising."

"But why that one? I like  _ this _ one much better." James gestured at a box covered in Star Wars-themed wrapping paper.

"Y'all are weird. Isn't it obvious that this one's the best?" Rose reached for a Gucci box.

"Nope. It's this one." Marques gazed lovingly at one that had a laminated middle finger emoji stuck to it.

The four started to argue as Grandma looked upon them, amused. "Hey, hey!" She snapped her fingers to no avail, then sighed. "Bang!"

"Tan!"

"Son-"

"Yeon-"

"Dan!"

"Thank you." The group was more attentive now, although Yun was playfully slapping at James' hands and Marques was attempting (and failing) to braid Rose's hair. She was tempted to take a picture and to this temptation she fell.  _ They all look so cute together.  _ "Are you finished now?

The group murmured their assent, sitting up a bit straighter, though Marques was still trying his hand at braiding.  _ That'll hurt for her to brush through later.  _

"Good. Now, I think there's only one way to settle this." She grinned evilly, holding up a box.

Everyone in the room suddenly went pale and silent. Marques broke the silence first.

"Please no! I will do anything! Please! Anything but that! Anything but that!" he begged. The other three joined his pleas, literally on their knees. She kept smiling evilly as she made a zero with her hand, silencing them.

"Game time."

♡

"What the fuck? That's not fair!"

"Fuck you, we're playing house rules. It was a totally legitimate play!"

"That was a dirty, dirty play." Marques shook his head in disapproval.

"But according to house rules-"

"Fuck you and your house rules!" James exclaimed, clearly growing more and more exasperated. 

"Uno!" Rose slapped a color card on the table. "Red is for pretentious bastards, we're going yellow!"

"How the fuck did Rose get an Uno so fast?" James wondered.

"I don't know, maybe THE FOUR +2 AND 2 +4 CARDS SHE STACKED ON ME?!" Yun screamed.

"Well, Rose, looks like your winning days are over. Get a taste of THIS!" Marques slammed a card on the table so fast it looked like a blur. It read +4.

"Oh, I totally will. Right after Yun eats THIS!" She slammed one last card on the table.

Another +4.

Yun collapsed to the ground dramatically, screaming. "WHY ME? IT COULD'VE BEEN ANYONE ELSE! ANYONE ELSE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTS doesn't show up for a bit yet, but I promise you they will show up by chapter 7. Right now, I'm just attempting to lay some groundwork as to how we get there. Thank you for your support!


End file.
